So, this is me. I do not hide the fact that I am trans. This confuses some folks. They don’t understand how or why I can be so openly queer. It’s obvious, really. I am visible for both myself and those who cannot be.
Do I always pass? No. Do I always try? Another no. Even when I do, my bag is covered in pins. I refuse to let the negative folks silence me for existing. If this means I have to scream just how trans I am, fine. And, to be honest, for the most part I enjoy it. I look forward to educating people from time to time, explaining what my existence means. I look forward to those times where I run into other queer folks who aren’t able to be as open. But this visibility isn’t always easy.
I have learned how to read most of my environments. I have learned to watch for the subtle clues that might mean I should hide my pins. Those situations where it is genuinely dangerous to exist as myself. Usually, if I can avoid this altogether, I will. If it is unavoidable, even if I have to “hide”, I will take a friend with me. This is one of the hardest skills I’ve hard to learn, reading my surroundings. I am not sure I could explain how it’s done to somebody else, I just sort of know. Sometimes it is just a bit safer to not be so loud.
But back to visibility. There are people that aspire to be. Trans activists and the like that go out and shake the foundations of the world by daring to be visibly queer. This is something that certain factions of the world find completely abhorrent. When my existence is enough to offend you and disrupt your world view, you remind me why I choose to be so visible. Why I choose to announce to the world just how trans I am. I refuse to go silent because of your comfort levels. If my life causes you discomfort, I will get louder, I assure you.
Just because I can.
And remember, readers: You are valid and I love you.