It’s been a bit since I’ve posted and for that I apologize. But let’s talk about how it feels when you constantly have to justify your existence.
I do not have a problem answering naive questions asked by people who are genuinely trying to learn, even if they are a bit rude from time to time. But I will not continue to politely justify things about me. I will not continue to smile and play nice.
If you ask how I can be a lesbian when I have a “you-know-what”, I will call have some choice words for you. Who I date and why is not your concern. How I identify, in any way, for the most part, is none of your concern. If I have to explain and justify the reasons behind why I would prefer you not use slurs, I will get very loud. I do not care if such and such popular celebrity uses it. They shouldn’t use it. You shouldn’t use it. If you try to defend such language, I will tell you how shitty of a person you are.
But do you know what I love most? Justifying my identity. How I can “be a woman” when I don’t “act like one”. Tell me, readers, how does a woman act? What am I missing here? Can I not like gaming? Can I not wear t-shirts and jeans? These things do not matter. What I do and how I dress does not shape my gender. You do not get to dictate these things to me because they do not fit your world view. Let me live my way and I will leave you well enough alone, ya dig?
I know this might sound a bit harsh to some of you. But for those of us who deal with the exact same statements and questions every day, it gets old fast.
And hey, remember this: You are valid. You are loved. You matter.