It’s been a bit since I’ve posted and for that I apologize.  But let’s talk about how it feels when you constantly have to justify your existence.

I do not have a problem answering naive questions asked by people who are genuinely trying to learn, even if they are a bit rude from time to time.  But I will not continue to politely justify things about me.  I will not continue to smile and play nice.

If you ask how I can be a lesbian when I have a “you-know-what”, I will call have some choice words for you.  Who I date and why is not your concern.  How I identify, in any way, for the most part, is none of your concern.  If I have to explain and justify the reasons behind why I would prefer you not use slurs, I will get very loud.  I do not care if such and such popular celebrity uses it.  They shouldn’t use it.  You shouldn’t use it.  If you try to defend such language, I will tell you how shitty of a person you are.

But do you know what I love most?  Justifying my identity.  How I can “be a woman” when I don’t “act like one”.  Tell me, readers, how does a woman act?  What am I missing here?  Can I not like gaming?  Can I not wear t-shirts and jeans?  These things do not matter.  What I do and how I dress does not shape my gender.  You do not get to dictate these things to me because they do not fit your world view.  Let me live my way and I will leave you well enough alone, ya dig?

I know this might sound a bit harsh to some of you.  But for those of us who deal with the exact same statements and questions every day, it gets old fast.

 

And hey, remember this: You are valid. You are loved. You matter.

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